Wearing your game face

 Thought provoking comments come out of left field occasionally and such was the case on Saturday evening at our bi-weekly dinner with my folks when my mom asked me if I was alright. The usual string of assurances came tripping off my tongue but I could see she wasn’t quite convinced so I “dug a little deeper”. It turns out she was concerned that I always seem to be in a good mood, always seem to be able to handle crises, always seem on top of things and she wanted to check if I really was full of fabulousness. The temptation to collapse like a house of cards and reveal that actually the stress levels are in overdrive, exhausted, running ragged and jolly flipping tired was overwhelming but you can’t, can you (she’s due for a hip replacement operation in a couple of weeks so is feeling quite vulnerable herself methinks). It led to me pondering about the image you project to the rest of the world /wearing your game face / which side of the Janus coin is on show today?

Mine is on permanently –  I have learnt through the years to deal with the stuff that life throws at you in a calm and rational manner irrespective of how wound up I am inside and when all I actually want to do is throw a 12 piece dinner set 😉 It’s a double edged sword – people think I’m super calm and efficient and tend to seek me out as a safe port in the storm but the same process (in a bizarre sort of way) also inhibits me from showing my entire true self to the world at large, there are very few people who know my soul.

Every person is the creation of himself, the image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are – Claude M. Bristol

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6 thoughts on “Wearing your game face

  1. It’s a mixed blessing, that permanently affixed game face. I have one, and it has created the same (false) impression for decades, since my life was crazy starting around age 12 with a divorced bi-polar mother and no siblings — “No, she’s fine. I can tell her all MY problems!” when you’re actually about to have a nervous breakdown. What an unimaginable luxury…

    In the past few months, as stress has hit insane levels (my 2nd book is out in a month; mother 3.5 months in distant hospital now in nursing home, etc) I began telling a lot of people, in Facebook, in my two blogs and in person, some of it. I have found a tremendous amount of support, advice and compassion.

    I admire your restraint and compassion for not wanting to burden your Mom, but letting even half the demons out is a useful and healthy exercise.

    • Gosh what a lot you have on your plate! Congrats on your book and best of luck with your Mom. The joys of blogging, being able to vent with relative anonymity – thanks for popping in and taking the time to comment 🙂

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