I don’t see dead people (Zambia chapter 1)

like the faintly disturbing Hayley Joel Osment in the Sixth Sense (something about that child gives me the heebie jeebies) – i see images in the bark of this awe-inspiring baobab at Royal Chundu in Zambia. Anything spring to mind?

Its kind of fun doing it with clouds as well, flat on your back on a summers afternoon and find the galleon or bugatti or even the March Hare as the scudding white smears whistle past or slowly amble – you get the idea.

I find myself taking the non-festive path on twitter and here on my much neglected blog – Christmas is not a personal high for me. No offence to anyone who has a cohesively christmas orientated gathering of the clans that loves the excess and over indulgence and can achieve utopia without irritation and back-biting. I’m genuinely as chuffed as a pig in poo for you and yours and wish you all the very best for the holidays.

For the rest of us who have a loving family but a wealth of baggage from pesky relatives and such like – commiserations and chin up, roll on the 27th.

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?  It came without ribbons.  It came without tags.  It came without packages, boxes or bags.  And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore.  Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.  What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.  What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”  ~Dr Seuss

Bah Humbug – well sort of.

So it was going to be a new blog, a new site, plenty to do, plenty to say……………………………………..

2, almost 3 months down the line without musings!

So it’s Christmas Eve, I’m at work (which is good – my office is wonderfully peaceful and quiet, aircon is on (a hot SA summers day)) yet I feel as flat as yesterdays salad greens. Reasons, well not Christmas blues by any manner of means although maybe you could look at it that way. You see when I was young and my fabulosity knew no end I used to adore Christmas – prezzies, shopping, wrapping, carols, special food (you know the drill). And then I got married (to a wonderful man, just for clarity) into a family that had a Christmas Agenda related to every aspect of the holidays.

Lets see, I was raised with religion in my life but have drifted into a non-church going direction choosing instead to express my faith by the way I live on a day to day basis through charity, kindness etc etc. Now that’s where i apparently have turned into a dark spectre and have led DH (darling hub) astray. His parents are both of a dogma driven, regmented faith (which is fine too – whatever blows your hair back) who have developed the art of judging others and a vicious tongue that could fillet a whale shark to the highest level (hypocrit – you do the numbers). “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” – I come from a small close-knit family where love abounds but it makes me want to grind my teeth to witness their treatment of DH. He is the only child still here (rest overseas) yet he may as well be the man behind the counter as the local supermarket for the amount of interest they take in his life (and yes he does try with his parents, I’m not blinkered to his or my failings).

Best BIL and co are out from Canada are out for the holidays yet we (well probably I, he seems able to ignore the ugliness) will schlumph off there tonight to make nice, ignore the snide comments, open truly awful presents (I mean, don’t bother – make a donation to charity. Last year a vase and matching plate in the colour scheme of their lounge – I got the vase, DH got the plate) and pretend to be the picture postcard happy clan. I don’t want to play anymore, is that selfish – probably most would say yes, they are his parents and you need to be the least … ad nauseum – well I say horse twaddle, a relationship (irrespective of it’s connection) is a two way street and you cannot just be constantly required to give.

On the giving thing – how difficult is it to buy a gift for somebody when you really, really dont want to? I dragged DH with me this year and made him choose for his parents – he was really thoughtful and (given past experience) I’m just a tad apprehensive as to their reaction and how he will take it (bit of a sensitive soul he has). This was the birthday sms (text) he got from them while we on holiday at our national game reserve “DH, Happy Birthday, Mom and Dad” – WHERE is the love people, where is the love?

So there you have it, my Christmas bounce is broken – I dont want to go tonight (but I have to as you know) – I’d rather be at home with DH in our own quiet little piece of paradise with good food, a decent glass of pink bubbles and a whole lot of nice. Armageddon looms – bah humbug, well sort of.


PS Christmas Day is with my mad family – LUVVERLEY.

PPS Merry Christmas everybody – peace and happiness all round irrespective of your belief.