I’m routinely a half full exponent (which does conjure up all manner of alcohol related anecdotes none of which have any relevance here so moving swiftly on!) However there are days where the finely-crafted crystal goblet of life seems to have a permanent leak!
Let me expand on my theory:-
Scenario 1 – the drive to work
Your burst onto the motorway, full of vim and vigour, raring to get to the office (or not, completely the opposite – whatever, you’re on the road!) One sandal clad foot teeters towards the accelerator and is firmly brought under control by the following manifestation in your line of sight. Left lane – two middle-aged women, yapping (involved hands) and obviously with all day to arrive at the gym/tennis club/coffee shop and hence an average speed of 2. Right lane – articulated truck trying to overtake, driver on mobile phone to boot. Would like to do 120, 2000 tons vehicle, logistically not possible – he doesn’t care, average speed 2.
Scenario 2 – the work day
Twelve seconds ago they all worked – computer, printer, land line phone, mobile. Now any combination thereof has decided to strike, no warning, no negotiation – a simple case of I’m going to down tools and bugger you if you need me to complete a critical task. I don’t give a jot, so there!
Scenario 3 – the grocery store
Most womens least favourite venue for retail therapy but you have to eat and therefore our daily wonder through the aisles (what, you buy in advance for the week!) I shop at odd hours because of my work schedule which usually means empty aisles but every so now and again you come gambolling around the corner to find ……….
Two trolleys horizontally placed to create an impenetrable barrier. Critically important to note that these have not been abandoned and thus cannot be summarily shoved asunder – they are owned and have drivers in situ! I have the utmost empathy for the need to chat, I’m a girl – I get it. I could also go down two aisles and across three to get what i want which is just behind you but I may not want to. After negotiating the aisle accident and thinly veiled barbed stares you arrive at the till. That “special” buy two get one free ………. the techno fairy hasn’t tweaked the computer!
Aftermath – so much heavy breathing and counting to ten, shares in a paper bag factory would have quadrupled.
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.” ~Gil Stern